Friendship can be a tricky thing. I, after many years of having the same best friend, have become an expert on the ins and outs of appropriate and not-so-appropriate conduct. So, the following are my five rules on Best Bud Behaviour…
#5: Honesty isn’t always the best policy.
In most cases, honesty is the way to go. If your friend has a bat in the cave (an enormous booger hanging out of her nose), it is your duty as a friend to point out the obvious. But, if your friend is dating a complete moron, take it from me, it is in your best interest to keep your opinions to yourself! Some people might say that it is your duty as a best friend to burst this bubble, but some mistakes need to be made. You just make sure you’re the first person there with tissues when the you-know-what hits the fan. Which brings me to the next rule…
#4: It is your sworn duty to be there when a break-up occurs.
And no, there are absolutely no exceptions to the rule on this one. I don’t care if you have a date with Chris Hemsworth that night; when you get the call that your best bud has had a heinous break-up, you MUST be there within a half hour of the original phone call. You are also obliged to bring tissues, ice cream and chocolate when you show up. Trust me, it may seem inconvenient, but you can be sure that she’ll remember your sacrifice the next time you need her shoulder to cry on. And you will.
#3: Do not talk about your best friend behind her back.
I don’t care how much you think you trust the person you are venting to, best buds are like parents: THEY ALWAYS KNOW! Or they will find out, and you’ll be left defending your honour for the remainder of your friendship. Plus, if you really are best friends, you should be able to tell them to their face when they’re being wretched…I know I do.
#2: Never have more than one best friend!!
In high school, I had three!! We were a group of four super-close friends who fought all the time. The problem was, when you have more than one, you are expected to distribute your time equally among them and it’s a nightmare. There will always be one who feels left out or neglected. That doesn’t mean you can’t have multiple friends, but it is in everyone’s best interest to keep the Best Friend title for the closest one.
And the most important of all the best friend rules:
#1: Never, never, never (and did I say never?) get together with your best friend’s boyfriend….
Not even an ex-boyfriend, not even a boy she has a crush on, or one she had a crush on three years ago! Are you getting my point? It is in the worst taste to date your best friend’s ex, and a crime punishable by death to date her current boyfriend. This is the number one way to lose a best bud instantly. Someone did it to me and it took me three years to speak to her again, and it was never the same. Just keep your paws off! There are lots of boys out there, so there is no reason, excuse, exception, or loophole that will get you out of this one. And just remember, it would suck if someone did it to you!
That’s the way I see it.