From the outside looking in I look fine to you. But inside of my skin and through the thickness of my bones grows a shattering soul that is withering away with each breath taken.
That is truly the only way I can describe depression to someone who hasn’t experienced it, because until you have gone down that road for yourself, you will have no idea how much pain and hurt depression can cause and the lives it takes in the process, even if they are still on this earth. Depression is the illness that can come and go, get better and come back and be even worse, a comeback with a vengeance. It can start in early childhood and progress into adult years.
It can also be triggered by anything; stress, trauma, a bad relationship, loneliness, abandonment, or low self-esteem. But at the end of the day, it truly doesn’t matter what caused depression to attack you in the first place, what matters is I want you to know you are a fighter. You are truly fighting for your life every single day and I am in awe of you. You’ve greeted strangers with a smile, you’ve gotten up and put your clothes on, you’ve put on your makeup right after wiping away those tears and I know how much effort that took for you. You are scared silly and terrified by the path that you never imagined you would be on, but look at you, you are still here and I am in awe. What many don’t know is that depression is an illness. It isn’t a state of mind even though fleeting sadness and negative thoughts are. No. Depression is an attack on the brain, the soul, the being on a whole and as beings; we need good energy to survive in this world.
Think about it, our bodies are like machines, machines that constantly need to be refueled in order to operate amongst one another, to simply be on this planet. But depression, depression is a silent killer, one that I know you have not asked for. I know you look at your beautiful face every morning and wonder why you. Why were you the one to be affected? You would not wish it on anybody, not even your worst enemy, but still, you wonder why you had to be the one to go through it. I have thought the same thing, over and over again and depression is a disease that constantly wants to give you permission to not give yourself the credit you deserve. But right now, I am giving you that credit for fighting the battle of your life. I salute you for being brave enough to share your story with others when you feared judgment and I salute you for being courageous enough to make it this far because it is far from easy. You’ve had to deal with the comments from others, maybe family and friends who ask you why you are even depressed. You’ve had to hold your head up and fake a smile when people have asked you how you are and I know it hurt you to smile and say “Great!” when you know you are slowly collapsing inside.
I don’t know your name, I don’t know your story, but I do know you are worth it and your battle will not be in vain. Congratulate yourself for becoming a stronger man or woman because of what you have experienced. Depression came, but you are here. I salute you. 💗