The influence of parents on the choice of educational courses is very significant. What should you listen to? What is it better to decide on your own? How to react correctly to advice from mom and dad? How can their recommendations affect your future destiny? Find the answers to these questions by reading this article.
Should you rely on the opinion of parents?
Some people tell that they had to spend many years to study and work “for mom” with resentment. When they found the courage to return to what they always wanted to do, it was too late. Indeed, the ecstasy from finding a favorite business is sometimes accompanied by a feeling of vexation connected with the fact that so much time has been wasted, that all those who started then, right after school, have already achieved a lot, and it is difficult to reach their level now. The second higher education requires money and another five years of life, and the change in the habitual way of life causes discomfort.
Others say that they are grateful to their mother or father. Only later, they realized how close and beloved the imposed profession became for them. Here you can hear stories like: “I was just a girl. The wind was in my head. I wanted to become an actress after a successful role in the school play, to follow my friends and enter the prestigious economic faculty. If a dad did not insist on the profession of an engineer, I do not know what would have happened to me.”
So, do you need to listen to adults when choosing a profession and a university? On the one hand, you build your life and should take responsibility for it. On the other hand, parents are not strangers and wish you good, and therefore, their advice should be heeded.
Let’s consider different situations when your opinions may divide, clarify what views are usually expressed by the parents and how to react to them.
“You will never earn money in this profession”
Parents recommend you to pay attention to the profitable, in their opinion, options. First of all, think about how much financial independence and material prosperity are significant for you. It is possible to earn money for elementary expenses in any profession. But, in fact, not every specialist can become the owner of a yacht, a new luxury car and a villa on a seashore.
It is important to objectively assess the income level you strive to have. That is why it is worthwhile to listen to the opinion of parents. It can be difficult to clarify your needs if they are usually satisfied by adults.
It also should be borne in mind that moms and dads do not always have the right information on this issue, although life experience means a lot. Still, double-check what you heard. For example, visit the job search sites, assess the relevance of the profession in the labor market and the level of the proposed income.
“I did not succeed, but you will”
It happens that, for different reasons, the parents could not realize some dream and, seeing their continuation in the child, want this dream to be realized by him. It is necessary to take this issue seriously. It is good if you really inherited your mom’s or dad’s talents and interest precisely in this profession. And if not? It is better not to try to be not yourself but another person. This can have serious consequences, especially if expectations will not be justified.
A serious conversation is needed here. Try to understand why the family advises to choose such a life path. Explain your position: you are a different person with your own interests, abilities, and desires.
“You will fail”
Parents are convinced that the profession itself and even the training at the faculty you like are too complicated. They think that you overestimate your strength and do not understand how difficult it will be for you: “Do you remember that our neighbor, no matter how hard he tried, was expelled at the third course?” It is worthwhile to listen to these arguments and clarify what is waiting for you, what subjects are most important and what is the level of complexity. Evaluate your abilities objectively, remove the “rose-colored glasses”.
However, parents risk underestimating your strength, especially if you noticed this tendency in other areas. Other people study at the chosen faculty somehow. So, the task is not impossible. In the end, there are many professional writing services to which you can turn for help if you do not know how to perform a difficult assignment.
“I know better: this profession is ideal for you!”
Probably, at the first moment, such statements cause only protest. But do not rush to shut your ears and turn away. Ask your mom and dad to explain their position. Perhaps, they noticed some qualities that you do not see yourself. This is especially true in a situation when no definite decision was taken. Sometimes, close people see the features and abilities of a person even better than he. Think about how well your parents know you, whether you have a trusting relationship. Or do they still have the image of the child which you already ceased to be in their heads?
“You will lead us to poverty!”
Sometimes, parents say things that cannot be ignored. For example, if the education in the chosen institution is paid, and the family does not have enough money. In this case, you can try to find a compromise.
Look for a university in which training in the same or a close specialty will be cheaper (or where there is a chance to pass a free course). Or, if it is so important for you to enter this particular institution, promise that part of the money will be paid by you. Find a part-time work or conclude an agreement on reducing the funds for personal expenses. You can also try to get a grant.
If the parents say that a particular university does not give a qualitative education in the chosen specialty, you should also conduct a joint search for compromise options.