You’ve ticked off every single chapter of your life step by step, and now you find yourself with a ring! Congratulations! You’re now about to enter a new chapter of your life. However, marriage is a big step compared to being in a relationship. And before you decide to get married, there are a few things you should reflect on that can help you make the right choice.
In this article, we’ll show you just that. Let’s begin!
1. The Wedding Cost
When it comes to weddings, this aspect is quite obvious. Of course, to be fair, everyone wants to have their dream wedding, since it’s a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime event. However, does it have to hurt the wallet? Not really.
Before you start planning, make sure you have a set budget and that you and your partner are financially ready for it.
Weddings can be extravagant or simple. It just depends on your preferences.
Even in the most basic wedding, you will have some expenses. Sit down together and talk about your savings, what you are willing to spend money on, and what to focus on in the stages of commitment as you tick off another year of your relationship.
2. Being Confident About the Commitment and Trust For Each Other
Let’s make this clear. You can’t get married to someone if you aren’t sure they’re the one. And it’s something that works for both of you. Ask yourself if you trust them and are committed to them.
If any doubts arise, clarify them as soon as possible. Commitment and trust are the foundation of any relationship.
So if you aren’t sure that you trust your partner and the commitment y’all have for each other then it’s probably best if you postpone the wedding plans or even worse, not dream of it at all.
3. A Prenuptial Agreement
A prenuptial is a process/agreement to protect individual assets. If you and your partner are entering a marriage with different income levels, it is a good idea to get one.
What happens if you sign a prenup is that you legally protect what you have and can ask for what you deserve to get. To be honest, not all marriages last, and sometimes they become unpleasant and messy situations. This kind of agreement beforehand helps to make the separation process less complicated. So decide if you want one before the wedding to clear up any negotiations and conflicts.
4. Accept Yourself
Loving someone is accepting their mistakes and learning from each other with kindness and respect. Without this, you’ll always find yourself drifting away from them because their unpleasant traits can create rifts in your relationship.
If you truly love someone, you’d always see them past their imperfections (most of the time) and love them for who they are. Raise your opinion about their poor timekeeping/inappropriate remarks/laziness or learn to adjust and live with it.
You also need to realize that you will also have nasty habits that put your partner in a corner—underwear hanging on shower rods, hairpins all over the place, not to mention the hormonal ups and downs. You are not perfect yourself!
You need to also keep in mind that there will be some gross habits that’ll make you corner your partner, because of course no one is perfect! You might see underwear hanging here and there, exquisite art made by hair in the shower, mood swings, and whatnot. Learn to accept and love because again, you have flaws too!
5. All Types of Intimacy Are Important
One of the essential elements of marriage is closeness, which lays the groundwork for any marriage or romantic relationship.
Being intimate is one of the core elements of marriage. This little aspect builds the foundation of any marriage and romantic relationship. But there are many types of intimacy; Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and so on.
So, what do you need to do to have a better intimacy with them? Talk about what they’re comfortable with. Discuss all your needs and desires and find a balance towards having healthy intimacy in your lives.
6. Financial Discussions
Surprisingly, a lot of marriages tend to fail after a few months due to the couple having instability in dealing with finances.
Anything that involves money isn’t easy to talk about since it’s so valued, and you can’t ever be direct about it initially. Your financial management affects your relationships as well.
However, don’t make the mistake of getting married before you understand how you’ll combine your finances. A major advantage of marriage is the ability to acquire and co-own property. However, before getting married, plan how to share your expenses because eventually you will both live together, and you will each have to contribute your fair share.
So start with discussing who’s gonna work how long and who’ll take care of things at home, how it can be balanced etc. Teamwork can make it easier than it is!
7. Be Aware of the Expectations
You can expect a lot and get nothing, or vice versa. Your partner will expect things from you; you can’t escape from it. There is a difference between healthy expectations and unhealthy ones. Marriage is a series of compromising the unhealthy ones and making use of the healthy ones. So before you get married, make sure that you know what you can expect from this relationship and your partner.
8. Is Your Partner Your Best Friend First?
Friendship is the foundation of a successful marriage. Of course, love is important but having that friendship transition into love yields a better marriage. So, be each other’s best friends.
Share your stories, do things together, and plan stuff to do. Discuss goals, both long and short term. Have healthy competitions and do projects together.
Be there for each other’s happy, sad, fun, and stressful days. All of these little things build the foundation of a beautiful future and create a bond that lasts a lifetime.
9. You Will Both Change
This isn’t hard to understand. As we all grow up, we change. It’s inevitable. You and your partner will both change a lot over the years. And challenges will occur. In that case, be kind to yourselves and see if you can carry on with them as the changes start affecting the relationship.
Now you know why they tell you to wait until a certain age to be married! Because as we grow, we learn and adapt different behaviors. So it is important to learn those and accept them wholeheartedly.
Here you go, some important factors that you should consider before you get married. They include some essential things needed in a relationship and add a lot of clarity to this new venture of your life.
Once you’re sure, get ready to plan, and envision the ceremony, celebrations, and a nice time. (Save some cake for us too, as a thank you!!) Let us know some of the things you thought of before getting married! Thank you for reading, and we wish you a happy marriage!