Going through a divorce is almost always one of the most difficult times in anyone’s life. Relationships will strain, your life will change forever, and the emotions can be overwhelming. However, it is possible to make it a little easier by knowing and understanding what to expect.
Anticipate the Financial Implications
First and foremost, you need to know that divorce usually costs a lot of money. In the USA alone, the average divorce costs between $7,000 and $20,000. Finding this money can be hard, especially if you aren’t the breadwinner or come from an abusive relationship. Additionally, this will strain your income. Of course, you can always check how to calculate child support, so your ex-partner continues their responsibility towards the kids when your income is severely reduced.
Decide On Mediation or Litigation
At first, you might not know it. But there are many different ways to go about getting a divorce. You can go to court and fight it out there. You can try to handle a simple case on your own. You can work together and pay a half-dozen people to get involved. Or you can help facilitate your divorce. Take the time, in the beginning, to really sit down and look into all of your options. Then, pick the one that is most likely to discourage both sides from fighting over the petty things.
Stay Involved When Going Through a Divorce
Divorce can be so stressful that you want to hide yourself away somewhere safe and pretend like nothing is happening. But that won’t make anything better or different. Participating in the divorce process is the ideal route to get through it. So, don’t just sit back and watch your own divorce. This is your life, and you need to be in charge of it. Listen to your lawyers, of course. But be ready to make your own choices to reach a better deal that suits you as well as your ex.
Learn a Little About the Law
No matter if you want a friendly divorce or otherwise, you should know some basic facts about the law. If you both know this from the start and have realistic expectations, you have a good chance of coming to your own resolution that costs less. Also, what you think is important and what the law thinks is important are not always the same. The court needs to understand the circumstances of your decision because it can only make judgements based on evidence.
Hire a Reputable Legal Team
When getting a divorce, you’ll need a lawyer who knows about family law. You will also have to decide how you will go about getting a divorce. Choosing the right team for your family’s needs could save a lot of time, money, and trouble. Now is also a good time to look for professionals who can help you with the budgeting, taxes, and even psychological parts of your divorce. But remember, you’re the one who makes the decisions, no matter the advice of your legal team.
Understand That Things Will Change
There’s no easy way to say it, but things will change for the worse when going through and also after your divorce. Separating from your partner has implications for both of your lives. But also the lives and lifestyles of everyone around you. Some of the things you can expect include:
- You are likely to experience prolonged emotional challenges along the way.
- You will probably incur some form of financial hardship or huge expenses.
- It isn’t uncommon for one party to lose contact with long-term friends and family.
- Children and grandchildren may choose a side, so be aware of this potential loss.
- Holidays and birthdays can become strained, awkward or missed altogether.
- There are often huge implications for divorcees where religion is concerned.
- Your children might also begin to perform badly in school or start acting out.
- It can be challenging to get a job if you have been a homemaker for so long.
- A bitter battle for shared custody of children often follows a non-amicable divorce.
Finances aside, going through a divorce strains other parts of your life. This is one of the reasons why it should always be carefully considered. Yet, if you must proceed, then you need to expect changes to your income, the lives of your children and the lifestyle you are used to.
Take Time to Process the Situation
The end of a relationship is a loss that will make you feel a lot of different and strong emotions. Working through your feelings is one of the best ways to overcome them. This means to let yourself come to terms with the loss of the marital relationship. But also the loss of your individuality as a committed partner and the lost opportunity of the aspirations you had for the coming years. This can be a hard thing to do, with needing some time alone for your feelings.
Work on an Agreed Timeframe for Proceedings
Divorce can cost a lot, and one of the main reasons is that the process takes much longer than initially anticipated. If you’ve never been divorced before, you probably won’t know much about how long it takes. And it’s difficult to determine how long it will take to come to an agreement with your ex. Most of the time, it gets harder to come to an agreement as a divorce drags on. Not only does this make the cost go up, but it also makes people more angry and upset.
Highlight Priorities When Going Through a Divorce
When you’re going through a divorce, having clear, attainable goals can help you keep your mind on the big picture. For example, if you have youngsters, you may want to make it a goal to make sure they are safe, stable, and relatively happy during and after your divorce. To reach your goal, you should make a list of things that you can’t give up, like getting a house to raise your kids or college funds. You’ll need to be flexible with negotiations to get these things.
Find Some Solid Support
Having a person you can seek assistance from is one of the best ways to get through a divorce, like a friend who thinks over every stage of your breakup with you. This could be your best friend, a parent, or a sibling. A reasonable partner that provides an outside perspective will help you get through your divorce. But also make plans for how to do well afterward. But it’s important to pick people who can also think critically without being too negatively biased.
Think of the Future Prospects
When your whole life has been upended, it can be challenging to imagine what it will be like in the future. It might make you feel anxious because there are so many things you don’t know or can’t be sure of. On the other hand, the beauty of upheaval is that it holds all possibilities. This way, you can begin your future instead of going over and over what happened in the past. This will help you feel freer, have more money, and have the confidence to move on in life.
Going through a divorce will be tough. It is tough financially, emotionally, and on the children, if you have any. Fortunately, you can make it a bit easier on yourself. First, you must understand the costs and how things are likely to change. But emotional and family support will also help.