What, you’re single? Why? How? Since when? Give me your full life love story! How annoying are the series of questions we get every time we mention that we’re single? Why do people care so much? We’ve all been there and I can bet that you took the high road and answered these questions nicely while holding a separate conversation with your subconscious about what you’d actually like to say.
Here’s a list of typical “single lady” questions accompanied by the real answers we would actually like to give.
1. Q: Wow, you really don’t have a boyfriend?
A: No, I do not have a boyfriend. Why are you looking at me like I’m from another planet? Can’t I be independent? The judgement that I sense from this one simple question is unreal. Once upon a time, girls were not defined by their relationship status. Clearly, that is not the case anymore.
2. Q: But you’re perfect, how are you still single?
A: Did you just insult and compliment me at the same time? I mean, I know that I have a set of highly valuable and attractive features, but that shouldn’t give you the impression that I somehow must be in a relationship. Are you saying only unattractive people stay single?
3. Q: When was the last time you went out on a date?
A: I don’t know… maybe last year. But what difference does it make? How does knowing the answer to this question affect your life? So, I’m not in the dating game, that doesn’t mean that no one has asked me to go out on a date with them. I just willingly choose to refuse their requests.
4. Q: Why don’t you go out on a few dates? Put yourself out there.
A: I don’t know. Plain and simple. The truth is that I don’t want to go out on a date with every guy that comes along the way. Haven’t you heard of all the horror stories out there? What if the next guy that asks me out for coffee is a serial killer, would you take the blame if something happened to me? Obviously, I won’t tell you this because if you were an understanding person you wouldn’t ask me this stupid question in the first place. So, I choose to have you think that I simply don’t know the reason for my actions. Meanwhile, I’m trying to figure out why you care so much about my dating history.
5. Q: Why are you so picky?
A: I am not picky. I simply have high standards for the person I wish to be in a relationship with. I just don’t want to settle for anything less than I deserve in a relationship. I’m looking for a healthy long term relationship, which means it takes a while for the right person to come along.
6. Q: If you stay picky, you’ll be alone forever. Do you want to be the neighbourhood’s crazy cat lady?
A: I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life instead of spending some of my best years with someone who isn’t worthy of me, my youth or my valuable time. If I can wait, I don’t see why you can’t do the same for me. As I recall, it’s my life, right? Good thing I love cats like Taylor.
7. Q: Who’s going to accompany you to fun events and exciting adventures?
A: I count on me, myself and I only. At the end of the day, I won’t have to deal with someone else’s nagging when I go on long, spontaneous road trips, nor do I have to ask what the other person wants to do out of plain politeness, I simply focus on myself and what I want to do.
8. Q: Why would you want to be single?
A: As narcissistic as I may sound, I just consider myself to be too awesome to share with anyone else. I still have a long time to share my time, passion and enthusiasm for life with somebody, but for now I want to enjoy as much “me” time as possible. I want time to grow and explore my interests, and I don’t want to be doing that with someone else always looking over my shoulder.
9. Q: Don’t you feel alone?
A: I’m done. Just when you think the interrogation is over, you throw another incredibly stupid question at me, and once again I feel obliged to answer it. Put simply, no I do not feel alone.
10. Q: Are you sure you don’t want me to set you up with my friend?
A: If he’s as nosy as you, then hell no. Honestly, I think my answers to the last few questions pretty much summed up where I am at in my life right now. Just because I’m single, does not mean that I cannot find someone on my own.
Now ladies, I know these questions are very annoying, but try keeping an open mind the next time someone asks you the series of “why are you single” questions. Allow yourself to be entertained by the fascination that you draw to yourself for simply waiting for the right relationship to come around. Your dream man will come around eventually, but until then embrace the single life and don’t let these silly conversations pressure you into seeing out hopeless relationships.