It has happened to everyone at least once in their lifetime. You expect everything to go smoothly before you leave the house until suddenly, one miniscule misfortunate event turns into a domino effect of literally every possible thing going wrong. Your patience is tested and your ability to stay calm under tough circumstances is compromised. However, after everything, there is nothing more assuring and tranquil than knowing that others deal with the same problem as you. I for one have had my fair share of a “series of unfortunate events” (pun intended).
Here’s a breakdown of every little possible mishap that could happen before going out.
1. Your alarm clock rings and wakes you up so you trust that you can just close your eyes for two more minutes. You suddenly wake up and realize you travelled to the future, and woke up an hour later. Now you’re colossally late. Inevitably, this is where the downfall begins.
2. With a tight time crunch, you spend an extra five minutes debating whether you have time to take a shower or just avoid the shower and put your hair up in a bun. You decide to jump in the shower and when you’re in the shower, you realize you forgot your towel so you have to awkwardly hop out of the shower, naked, dripping water everywhere as you grab a towel from the closet. And now your bathroom and hallway floor is all wet.
3. You go to your bedroom, look in the mirror and realize you have a zit growing on your face. You end up in an existential crisis, questioning why such things happen to you because you’re a good person!
4.You decide to apply makeup to cover that zit. You’re out of foundation so you resort to using a simple powder; but that powder doesn’t exactly match your skin tone. Now your body and your face are two different shades but you decide to leave it on, hoping that no one will notice.
5. You start to feel the urge of going to the washroom but because you’re running out of time, you try to control your bladder as much as possible until you eventually break and have to run to the washroom. Everything seems fine until you realize you’re out of toilet paper.
5. You start to apply eyeliner and completely nail that winged liner look that you’ve always wanted to accomplish. Since your eyeliner is on fleek, you start to put mascara but accidently rub the brush on your eyelid so now you have to spend extra time removing your perfect eye makeup and drawing eyeliner again.
6. But that second try with eyeliner doesn’t match the other perfect eye, so you remove the makeup off your other eye and pray that your eyeliner wing is just the right length, width and height.
7. You feel like embracing your inner Taylor Swift and you have the perfect shade of red lipstick to do so. You know exactly where that lipstick is but for some reason it’s not in its usual spot. So you ransack your bedroom looking for it, only to find it in that same spot that you thought it would be in…and then you sit and wonder how it magically appeared.
8. You think you’ve applied your lipstick perfectly so you smile but then of course you notice the lipstick is smudged all over your teeth. Having it perfectly applied was too good to be true.
9. You know exactly what you want to wear–that new top that you just bought. You search your closet and you find everything but that one top that you want to wear. So now you have to change your whole outfit.
10. That zit that you discovered earlier seems to be getting bigger.
11. You try to comb through your damp hair to get rid of all of the knots but turns out, you used the shampoo that doesn’t have conditioner infused in it so you end up spending another 10 minutes trying to run your hairbrush through your hair, while praying that the brush doesn’t break from all the pressure of your un-conditioned, knot-filled hair.
12. You’re under quite the time-crunch so you decide to blow dry your hair instead of letting it air dry. However, of course, you hair doesn’t seem to react well to heat so you end up with a frizzy mess. In turn, you end up putting your hair in a bun which was the original plan if you chose not to take a shower. You realize that maybe taking a shower was a waste of time.
13. You decide to wear open toed sandals but still have old cracked nail polish on. You can’t find the nail polish remover so you decide to throw on a random colour of nail polish on top. Now you’re walking around the house like a penguin as you try to avoid any walls and furniture.
14. You really want to stick to your healthy diet and make a nice breakfast but you really don’t have any time so you throw some Lucky Charms cereal and milk in a bowl and chug it down. There goes your plan on eating healthy.
15. You drop some milk on your crotch area and in efforts to clean it off, you now have a little stain there that looks like you peed yourself.
16. It’s time to leave now but maybe you should’ve put your nail polish on your toes after you put on your sandals. It’s like playing “Operation” with your feet. You have to slowly try and fit your toes through your sandals without touching the sandal itself and smudging the polish or else all hell breaks loose.
17. Where are your house keys? Typical. You waste another 10 minutes ransacking your entire house just so you can happily lock your front door.
18. Because you’re in such a hurry, you destroy your newly painted toe nails.
19. And from all of the scrambling, you broke a sweat, causing your makeup to look particularly oily.
20. Now you’re exhausted with messy toe nails, oily makeup, a stain on your crotch area of your pants, and the day has just begun.
But hey, be grateful that you have a roof over your head, a closet full of clothes and a fridge full food. Minor setbacks hit even the greatest people in the world – I’m sure Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama also had to deal with annoying obstacles too. But remember that it’s all about how you handle the situation. Stay calm and keep your head up high because girl, you have to balance that crown somehow! Sure you may be tired and irritated, but the day has just begun and is full of surprises. Just own it!